What She Thinks
by CharlieBoneFan
Summary: "I vowed that I would wait until I poured my heart out to you and speak the three words I really wanted to say to you..." Touko said. "What are those three little words?" I asked. One-Sided Ferriswheelshipping One-Shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon.**

**A/N: Here is what you guys voted for on my poll, a One-Sided Ferriswheelshipping.**

N's POV

I watched Touko as she stood in the mouth of the gaping hole that Reshiram and I left the Team Plasma Castle from. Her hair swayed in the wind as she stared out into the sky. "I've been waiting for you…N" she said distantly into the wind. I peeked out from my hiding place behind some rubble on the floor and looked at the hero of Zekrom, my first and only true friend, and my secret love. I don't understand how she knew I was here. I didn't make a sound when I came in. I clutched the small present I was going to give her in my hand tightly as I walked up behind her.

"How did you know I was here?" I asked but my voice got high from nervousness. I guess I was really excited to see her.

"I just had a feeling" she said. Her arms hung at her sides but as she spoke, they tightened up into fists. I saw a few drops of water hit the dusty castle floor, turning small areas into dark damp dots. They must be tears. Touko must be crying. I couldn't stand seeing the girl I love cry, so I took a step towards her. I stretched my arm out to grab her.

"Touko, I—" I started.

"Don't touch me" she hissed. More tears hit the floor. I pulled my hand back and let it drop to my side. She finally turned to face me. There were dark circles under her eyes; her eyes were red and puffy. Touko's hair was in tangles and all of her exposed skin was covered in a thin layer of dirt and grime. She was in her normal outfit, but it was ripped in a few places.

"Touko, what happened?" I questioned while taking another step towards her. She flinched away from me as her face twisted up in fear, pain, and anger. I froze in place.

"What happened? You want to know what happened?" Touko said to herself like she couldn't believe what I just asked. She let out a weak chuckle. It sounded like the kind of chuckle someone makes while they are on the brink of insanity.

"Yeah. Please, tell me. I want to help you" I whispered.

"Well, you can't" she snapped at me. Her right hand grabbed her left arm, and she started rubbing her hand up and down along her arm.

"Why?"

"Because, you're the one that did this" Touko whispered so low that I almost couldn't hear her.

"Me?" I said in confusion.

"Yes, you. Do you know how long you've been gone?"

"Wait, what does that hav—" I began.

"Just answer the question" Touko barked.

"Two years" I said. I know that is a long time to be away from the one you love, but I wanted to come back sooner. I just couldn't.

"Two years" she repeated. "And do you know how long I have waited for you to come back?"

"N-No" I said, afraid of the answer I was going to get. I would have answered but I didn't want my guess to be confirmed. I clutched the small object in my hand tighter out of guilt.

"Two years" she said. "Ever since you left, I visited this place each day. I have practically been here 24/7. I came here every day with a smile hoping that you would come back. I barely left. Most nights I even sleep here on the cold hard dusty ground right next to your throne. I dreamed about you every night. Did you know that I love you? I came here every day hoping that I could see you again to tell you that, or I wanted you to come back and tell me that you loved me. But for two years, I got nothing. I heard nothing. I saw nothing. It was almost like you never existed" Touko explained. She broke down into another fit of tears.

"But Touko, that's why I'm here. I wanted to tell you that I love you" I said quickly, hoping to at least calm her down or cheer her up with my confession.

"Did you know that when I first said that I wanted to be your friend that I lied? I only said that I would be your friend because I pitied you. I felt sorry for you because you were led down the wrong path by your father, and you didn't have any friends. I actually hated you back then" Touko said, completely ignoring my confession.

"N-No! Your lying" I said in disbelief. I didn't want to hear what she had to say any more. I put my hands up to my ears to block out the sound of her voice. I felt the small gift in my hand press against the side of my head. Is that what she truly thought of me?

"It's true, but as time passed, I started to fall in love with you. I was actually really happy every time I saw you. I loved being by your side and hearing your voice. It was the happiest time of my life" Touko said. "But now, that is a thing of the past. I grew up and realized it was just a little crush."

"No, Touko. I'm here now. I'll be with you. I love you. I felt sparks when I was with you. I don't think it was just a crush" I said. My heart was repeatedly breaking into a million pieces at each word she spoke.

"I waited for you for a year. I waited for you to keep your promise that we would meet again soon. I know that it just came true but when someone says soon, the other person doesn't expect two years to go by. After one year of waiting, I vowed to keep waiting until you came, even if it was until I died. I vowed that I would wait until I poured my heart out to you and speak the three words I really wanted to say to you. Now, you're here and I can speak those three little words" Touko hissed out but her voice softened up at the end. Her harsh tone scared me, but once her tone softened, it gave me hope that she would finally say 'I love you.'

"What are those three little words?" I said. "I'm finally here like you said. You can tell me." I wanted to know what she thinks of me. How she feels.

"I _hate _you" Touko said seriously with venom dripping off each word. At the sound of her voice, I dropped onto my knees with my arms hanging at my sides and the backs of my hands resting on the ground. I dropped the small friendship ring that I had in my hand on the ground. It clattered and stopped next to my left palm. I was going to give it to Touko when I confessed my feelings, but now it would never be used. My head was looking down at the floor. I couldn't believe my ears. Did I hear right? Did she just say she hates me?

"B-But I love you" I mumbled to myself, staring at the floor. Touko brushed past me and started walking to the exit. She kicked the ring as she walked by. Tears hit the floor as she walked past and made a trail wherever she walked.

"Get over me, N" Touko said distastefully but sadly. "I got over you and even though my life is probably now over, and I will never trust or love somebody again, it was worth it to say those three little words. They summarize all my feelings towards you. There is no love left. You ruined my life. I hope right now, you are feeling the pain that I have felt and still am feeling every day for the past two years. Goodbye… forever." I glanced over my shoulder to see her hair disappear around the corner. I sunk my shoulders and cried. That would probably be the last time I would see Touko, and I didn't even get to see her smile. From now on, I dedicate my life to sitting here and waiting forever until the Touko I know and love will come back to me. She is somewhere out there, maybe even somewhere inside the Touko that hates me, but I will wait for her forever. I know it will be forever too because right now she doesn't love me; she hates me.

"I will love you forever and for always, even if you hate me" I promised myself and Touko, even though she wasn't here to hear it. I slowly moved my hand towards the ring. I grabbed it and held it tightly in my fist. I heaved myself up off the floor, and I slowly made my way over to my throne. My head hung low. I felt the soft cushions of the seat and brushed off some of the dust. Particles of dirt drifted in the air afterwards. I turned around and sat down in my old chair. I held my head in my left hand. I was filled with sorrow and regret. I took a deep breath to stop my still flowing tears. I sighed and dried my face once I felt a little better. Not that much, actually. I lifted my head and looked at the doorway Touko exited through. I leaned my head back and waited to see Touko come back through the door, the Touko that is independent and care free. I adjusted myself into a comfortable position. I would take care of myself and do what I have to do to survive. This castle is fully stocked with working bathrooms and kitchens. I have to stay alive for Touko. I know I will be here for a long long time.

**A/N: Ouch, poor N. He will love her forever and she will hate him forever because of what he did. I feel really bad for what I did to him, but I really wanted to write a story like this. I sort of felt this way when N left so I expressed it in this story. I was really upset when he left. Please, review. Oh and I might be starting to write a new story. You know, all my ideas come from stories I read or pictures that I see of couples/couples with their future families. This new story might be one of those. If I write it, it will be Ferriswheelshipping but in a sort of different way but not in a different way. You know what I'm sayin'. Anyway, bye, until my next story.**


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